Enjoying the Ride of Your Life

Love where you are as much as where you are going so you will never miss a moment of the journey – Unknown –

 

Lately Long train rides have been my favourite thing to do, apart from getting lost and directions my favorite part is the journey in between before I reach my destination. Long train rides to Liverpool so far are my favorite as I can look at the scenery, think about my life and everything that is going on, reflect, read a book and listen to music. I have been wanting to go inter railing for a long time and one of the places I would love to go explore using scenic trains is Switzerland, ahhh they literally have the most beautiful scenic landscapes.

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During train rides I have to sit through the journey I am taking until I reach my stop, I could also choose to get off, hop on another train, change to a different route, at the end of it my goal is to reach my destination. Life is pretty much similar to a train ride we are all on a journey with a final destination what we do, who we choose to love, the friends we have, the jobs we take are all decisions we make through out, what happens in between is up to you.

We all go through highs & lows, comfortable and uncomfortable stages this could be the unemployment & employment stage, the relationship stage (breakups, makeups, honeymoons), friendships, education etc.  in all these stages or some of them we have a tendency of rushing the process to get to the next stage in order to get out of the uncomfortable phase or we miss pivotal moments while our eyes are set on the end goal.

The trouble is whenever we do this we cease to enjoy the moment and love where we are as we are too busy looking forward to where we are going and in the process we miss moments that happened during our tests and trials. These moments however good or bad teach us something about ourselves and mold us into a better person. I have found my self at times looking forward to the future and forget to live in the moment especially when I am going through an uncomfortable season.

Uncomfortable seasons are good in a way depending on how you look at them from a positive point of view they teach us a lot about ourselves, how strong we are and can be, how much we can grow, what we can achieve, and what we can overcome. Sometimes in order to grow into the next stage you have to trust the process and go through it, often times we are so impatient and we do not want to go through with the process and we just skip, find shortcuts or end up quitting it all together.                                                           Have you ever been running late that you make the decision to change your usual train route to a different one in hopes that you will get there earlier and in the long run you become even later than you would have been if you stuck to the same route. Its so important to trust the process and stay the course, God also has a funny way of making the things we fail to learn from come back in a different way, the same mountain or obstacle you avoided will come back through another job, another relationship, another friendship, or another scenario.

 

Take pride in how far you’ve come. Have faith in how far you can go. But don’t forget to enjoy the journey – Micheal Josephson –

 

Your seasons however may not all be uncomfortable some seasons maybe great seasons, but we maybe so focused on the next goal that we don’t take the time to live in the moment and appreciate the season we in. There are times when I have been cruising through life only to look back and realize wow I missed that moment I wish I had just soaked it in and enjoyed it, kind of like sleeping on a train and missing all the beautiful scenery. There are some special moments in your life that cannot be repeated that you will never get back, You will never be 21 or 25 or 30 again, there are some moments in life where you just have to be thankful and grateful for how far you have come, how much you have achieve, the person you have grown into. Always ask yourself what or how much you have learnt from a season?

These past few months/weeks I have been teaching myself to enjoy the journey of my life however bad, difficult or good each season is the best thing is to always look at the positive aspect of it. Its good to have a goal to look forward to but make sure while your on the journey you are engaging and taking in all that life throws at you, everyone or everything that comes your way is molding you into the person you will become.

 

Happiness is not about the trophy, or the finish line. Its the journey. If you enjoy your journey, you can enjoy your life – Pharrell Williams 

 

Enjoy the Ride of your Life.

E.B

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The #21DaysofDisciplineChallenge

– Today is a Great day to be Great –

Monday 15th  August 2016 – The day I decided to challenge myself

I was scrolling through my Instagram the day before and I came across this self discipline challenge that @PrinceDonnell had created,  for 21 days you had to…

1. Wake up at 5am

2. Have 1 hour of excercise

3. Drink 1 Gallon of water per day – equivalent to 4.5 Litres

4. Read for 15mins

5. Spend 1 hour of no phone time ( separate from exercise time )

 

I have always struggled with being disciplined in certain areas of my life whether its a goal or an idea I would often start and find myself giving up or moving on to something else that caught my eye. When i saw this challenge I thought this is an opportunity to prove to myself that I can be disciplined, focused and I can stick to a task at hand, Besides what did I have to lose? In fact I had more to gain than lose apart from having to sacrifice a couple hours lay in at the weekend I was in a Win situation if I persevered through it all.  Another thing that caught my eye, it apparently takes 21 days to create a habit well this was what I needed, the discipline of turning the things I hated which are meant to be good for me in terms of growth and success into my habits.

On Monday the 15th August I had a long day at work usually my routine consisted of waking up at 4 am getting ready for work coming back home exhausted which meant taking naps by the time I knew it my whole day was gone. This day was different, this was the day I had to start the challenge. So I showered had something to eat got dressed and I was out the door, I figured I would start with running. Usually I go for Fit run every Tuesday with a few friends but today I had to do it on my own. It hit me when I got to the park and started doing my stretches, am I actually here on my own about to run for 1 hour with no one to motivate me and push me? at this point so many things were going through my head while I was running, how are you going to do this for 21 days straight Esther with no break? Was this even a good idea? This was physically and mentally tough but I told my self I will prove to myself and other people that anything is possible if you put your mind to it.

As the days went by it got tougher and tougher especially days when I had to go on my own and push my self to complete the challenge, the first week I struggled with my body I was physically in so much pain my body was not used to me pushing it the way I did, part of me was scared I was pushing too much, then I remembered something my dad used to say ‘everything is in the mind, the things you hate the most are usually the best things for you’ at the time I did not understand this but now this was my daily saying. There was no way I was going to give up through the struggles through the pain I was going to keep pressing forward as each day passed I was learning more about myself and about my body, my mind was clear, my skin was clear, I was having better sleep, more focused, disciplined and something in me was changing and has changed.

I honestly would encourage anyone to give this challenge a go, yes it will be hard waking up so early, drinking 1 gallon of water equivalent to 4.5 litres , taking some time to read a book, spending 1 hour off your phone and exercising will not be a walk in the park especially if you are doing them every single day with no break. Some will be easier than others, but when you come out on the other side the reward is quite incredible you feel like you can conquer the world.

What did I learn from this experience?

Excuses

Before this challenge I did not realise how many excuses I had to why I could not do a lot of things, this challenge made me realise that excuses are the number one thing stopping the majority of us from reaching our goals or finding out what we are capable of doing. Excuses will kill and destroy your goals and dreams, excuses are gonna stop you from realising what your potential is. There are always going to be excuses as to why you cannot do things, its gonna be raining its gonna be hot, you will always be working, you will not have enough time. The one thing I know is If you plan your day right you can fit in all the things you want to do, when you want something there should never be an excuse to stop you from accomplishing it. You gonna find a way to fit it in, spin it around, put all the puzzles together and make it work, and yes its gonna be hard but you can do it.

Just Do It

Taking the first step is a step in the right direction for success, a million questions will be racing through your mind on how this will ever be possible, most of the questions we ask ourselves often put us off from taking that first step. We get ourselves so worked up to the point were we have exhausted all the ways we can fail at a challenge and decide it will not work out so there is no point in attempting it.

Don’t wait for the perfect opportunity to start making change and taking action in your life because what if the perfect opportunity never comes. The perfect opportunity to start making changes is never gonna come, you just have to wake up one day and JUST DO IT, don’t wait for tomorrow today is the day for change, the time for change is now.

Perseverance is Key

After you have taken the first step you will face challenges and trials along the way and this is perfectly normal this is a test to see how much you can persevere through it all, Do not give up keep pressing forward. Some days I was soo exhausted and in pain but I had to power through and often recited these sayings to encourage me ‘No Pain No Gain’ ‘Nothing great ever comes easy’. You have to work hard for the results you want to see and for this i told my self I will persevere through it all giving up is Never an option. Galatians 6:9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up”.

Motivation

Its so easy to do something with someone else because you know there is no way you will slack as the other person will make you accountable, push you and motivate you to keep going, but one of the hardest things to do is to motivate yourself, no one will be there to hold your hand and whip you to take action. One thing I learned is that in the past when I wanted to do something I would look for someone to do it with me if not I would not even bother attempting it at all. I have learnt that if you want something great you cannot wait for people or someone to do it with you, you just have to push yourself and do it, you will have to be responsible for your own motivation. You never know the impact this might have, there might be people at the end of your challenge who will learn from your journey and be inspired to take action in their lives.

The most Important one of All…
Its all in the Mind

You don’t know how far your body can go until you push it everything is in your head, and the way you speak to your self is so important the inner person in your head that keeps speaking to you is sooo important, your mind set has to be right because the way you talk to yourself determines how far you can push your self. There is a constant battle between the mind and the body, for example in my first week I had the right mind set I was motivated and ready to go but everyday after work I was exhausted and tired and all I wanted to do was have a shower and go to bed, but I was not letting my body rule my mind and win I gave into my mind and surprisingly I felt so much better every time after a work out. The problem is so many of us feed into what the body wants  and later on we wonder why we feel like crap, remember ‘when you physically do something you previously were not able to do something changes’ This means that the bar increases every time you reach what you thought was your limit your mentality changes and you learn that your body can power through anything.

Positive affirmations are a good way to gear your mind and get you on a motivation high each day for example; Every day/Today is a good day to be Great, Its all in the mind, No pain No gain, Strength no Weaknesses, or my favourite one I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13.  

I challenge anyone who wants to be more disciplined and see change in their life to go for it, you will learn something you never knew about yourself. You don’t know what you are capable of unless you try, anything is possible if you put your mind to it , if I can do it you can do it.

– Everyday is a Great day to be Great

E.B

The Summer Wedding

Love is Patient, Love is Kind. It always Protects, always Trusts, always Hopes, always Perseveres. LOVE NEVER FAILS – 1st Corinthians 13: 4,7,8 –

 

On Saturday 30th July 2016 my Aunt got married and for the first time in my life i got to be a bridesmaid never been so excited for this moment. The week started off quite stressful running around with my cousin dealing with last minute final touches,  i did not realise how much work  goes into wedding planning i was stressed out and it was not even my wedding so think of how the bride must have felt? The wedding day started off crazy getting ready was stressful normally when i am going out with my friends or somewhere special it takes me up to 2 hours without rushing to get dressed, get my hair and makeup done. So my plan was to spend at least 4 hours taking my time to get ready as it was a really special day and I wanted to look amazing but as you know nothing ever goes to plan,  we were rushing around and running late for the church service so we had to get ready in 2 hours.

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We finally got to relax when in the limo and were served with some lovely champagne which my cousin poured for all the bridesmaids, the maid of honour and the bride, the best I have tasted so far. We arrived at the church got out of the limo while the photographer took our pictures, the vicar greeted us and as we entered the church we stood in height order and were given instructions of when to walk down the isle. All the bridesmaids had walked down the isle and the bride walked down looking absolutely beautiful in the Ivory glittery wedding dress she wore, the vicar led the service, bride and groom took their vows, we sang some hymns and the vicar spoke with a message for the couple. After everything we all proceeded outside to take alot of pictures with the bride, her family, the grooms family and all the bridesmaids together.

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The reception was held at The Ocean View Hotel a really beautiful venue near the beach with beautiful views and a balcony overlooking a swimming pool, this was a perfect spot to take lovely wedding pictures. When you walk inside from the balcony there is a bar accompanied with a sitting area to relax before guests were allowed to go into the main reception hall, waiters were serving some champagne and juice for the guests.

Ocean View Hotel

All the brides maids the best man, maid of honour and bride and groom lined up at the entrance of the reception hall to greet all the guests as they entered and were each allocated their seats by the ushers. The brides maids, bride and groom made their entrance after everyone had taken their seats, we all danced our way to our seats as everyone clapped along and whistled, the room was filled with joy laughter and happiness with everyone taking out their phones to take pictures and film the bride and groom as they made their entrance.

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Some of The Bridesmaids

 The tables were beautifully decorated with lovely flower centrepieces accompanied by diamond stones sprinkled with glitter on the table. Each guest had their name card next to their seat on the table and written on the back of each card was the starter, main course and dessert that each guest had chosen to eat. For the starter i had a liver parfait which was really nice it had an interesting flavour to it, then for the main was pork this was quite filling considering I had not eaten all day. Last but not least dessert let me just say I am in love with profiteroles and these ones were absolutely amazing.

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Table Settings

There was a couple of speeches to the newlywed couple from friends, family, the best-man and the groom most of them wishing them a life of happiness and success through the ups and downs, others giving them advice about married life and how to cope in different situations and the best-man trying to embarrass the groom, they were a lovely set of speeches.

We then proceeded to have a fun night dancing and having fun the bride and groom had their first dance which was accompanied by the best-man and maid of honour and later the bridesmaids and the rest of the guests. The DJ played candy and all the bridesmaids and usher boys started dancing to the famous dance routine with everyone cheering us on and getting into the spirit.The couple later cut their cake with an explosion of champagne poured by the host after that that the bride went to change into her second outfit and the guests proceeded to enjoy themselves on the dance floor. The bride and groom later reappeared wearing cowboy hats she also changed into a hot pink sparkling dress dancing their way around and onto the dance floor, the bridesmaids were also given cowboy hats and joined them on the dance floor.

We all continued on into the night dancing to the music and showing off all our moves having the time of our life. This truly was an amazing special day filled with loved ones and close friends, this day made me appreciate family even more as we had so many laughs and really enjoyed the time we had, it taught me to start spending and investing time on my family, cousins etc. and not make it a habit to come together only at occasions such as birthdays, weddings and funerals. Family is everything, Love is a blessing, A Gift from God that we should all sprinkle and throw everywhere we go like confetti.

Congratulations to Aunty Jess and Uncle Rob.

LOVE

E.B

Recharge Yourself

If you neglect to recharge a battery, it dies. And if you run full speed ahead without stopping for water, you lose momentum to finish the race – Oprah Winfrey –

 

Have you ever had that feeling of emptiness like you have been running on the low, that feeling when you have been running on empty for so long is not the best feeling to have. The crazy thing is some of us keep going till that feeling becomes part of us and we finally lose the momentum we once hard in the beginning to pursue our dreams.

The Oxford dictionary definition of Recharge – To Restore electrical energy in a ( battery or battery operated device ) by connecting it to a power supply. My take on this – When you have a fully charged phone its battery gets drained the more you use it, eventually it will die and you will have to put it on charge. Our phones need charging everyday in order for us to use them so don’t you think we deserve to treat ourselves in the same way? Its funny how we panic when our phone batteries are on 2% but we don’t feel the same way when we are running on 0% everyday, imagine if we treated ourselves and panicked the way we do with our phones when the battery is on low, how much more life would we have?

Instead Everyday we go to work submerge ourselves into the work life get home feeling soo drained that we don’t have enough ‘ME‘ time, we get into this routine of work, home, eat, sleep, this becomes our life and we start feeling drained, unmotivated, fed up and eventually we give up on life. All our plans and dreams are shifted to the back of our minds and they become a distant part of our memory that we once had.

Over the past months I have realised the importance in taking time to recharge and spend some much needed ‘ME’ time. I found myself being soo frustrated stressed out unmotivated with my dreams, goals and felt purposeless. All my energies were being drained and i was not restoring them daily, weekly or monthly so I began to write less create less, spend time with friends and loved ones less and most of all I seemed not to have time for God at all. All my focus was on the source that was draining me, you know when you have a negative friend and you keep pouring all your positive juices into them eventually you are going to run out of positive juice to pour out because no one is refilling your cup.

This is when you become Emotionally, Spiritually and Physically drained, I am learning everyday that it is important to take time recharge yourself and enjoy everyday life. Whether it is taking a holiday break every now and then even for a few days, reading a book, or finding time after work to work on your dreams this helps you focus on something other than work itself and gives your life more meaning. Also taking some much needed ‘ME’ time to refocus your energies, spending time with God every morning before you start your day also works wonders I found that every time I did this my day would go a lot more smoother, feeling less stressed out and having a different mindset. Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will “.

Being stressed and worried is not my portion and neither should it be yours. Philippians 4:13 ” I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”

This Week…

I spent 2 days away on a spa break at the Hilton St Anne’s Hotel in Wokingham with my sister, a surprise organised by her very thoughtful boyfriend for her birthday. It was a much needed break away from the stresses of life and work. We really enjoyed the time away and got some much needed rest, I had the best massage I have ever had gosh even thinking about it now is making me smile so hard. We both had the hot stone massage where they used heated stones to help warm up our tight muscles it was soo deeply relaxing.

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They had such a huge outdoor space where we got to relax and enjoy the sun, there was also a beautiful conservatory where you can sit, relax, read a book or do whatever floats your boat if you did not want to be directly in the sun.

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I think my highlight was the amount of food there was available i don’t think i have eaten that much food in such a long time. We had all inclusive dinner and breakfast on both days and we really made the most of it, we opted to get room service on our last day and boy was it good. All in all taking time away was really good and gave me a chance to reflect on my life, my purpose and my longterm goals and dreams.

We all need to treat ourselves and take time out to recharge our batteries in order to function and not run out of momentum.

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Lunch Time…

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Room Service Breakfast

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Me and my Sister

E.B

The Art of Comparison

 

Comparison is the thief of joy – Theodore Roosevelt –

If comparison was an art I would be the best Artist out there in fact majority of us would fall into this category, the amount of time we spend comparing our lives running around doing things to try and keep up with the Joneses is actually quite ridiculous.

We unconsciously do it to the point where it has become second nature to us. The rise of the different Social Media platforms do not help either, keeping up with them comes with the art of comparing your self to everyone out there who seems to be doing great, looking beautiful or living the ‘PERFECT ‘ life. The worst thing is they hook you in and you become so addicted, take Instagram for example you spend hours scrolling through your timeline going through page after page, picture after picture by the time you know it you have spent an hour comparing yourself admiring people’s lives and wishing you had what they have.

Snapchat is another one I had to force myself to occasionally delete off my phone, there where times I would watch peoples snaps and feel like my life was not as fun or as great as others. It seemed like everyone else’s life was more exciting and I was just stuck waking up at 4am everyday working all the time. I came to a point where I had to detach my self from these platforms, so that I did not feel like I was missing out if I went 1 day, 3 days or even a week without checking up on them. Ridding myself of the addiction was a healing process for me , as every time I would see a beautiful girl on Instagram my comparison would kick in, If I could look as perfect as those girls I thought I would love myself more. Taking time out learning to love myself so that the need of comparison would decrease really helped me so much.  I came to the conclusion that in reality everyone only shows a snapshot of their life, they post only the best bits and the highlights and that no one is going to post about how broke or depressed they are just their own perception of how they want the audience to view their life.      

HOW to STOP Practising the ART of COMPARISON –

1. What you see is not always what you get

Its so easy these days to compare your life especially now that we have Instagram Snapchat Twitter and Facebook so many of the different social media platforms, where people post about their daily lives whether good, bad, sad, happy etc. the majority of the time it will always be about the good things. Its so easy to get caught up in envying other people and thinking that the people who always post amazing things are living this perfect life, what we fail to realise is that everyone posts the highlights what you see on Snapchat is only 10% of what really goes on in their life. A beautiful picture on Facebook will not show what a persons going through deep down, it is only a disguise to make people think that everything is perfect when in reality that person may be battling with self love or depression we are truly not seeing the full picture.

2. There is a time for everything

Everyone has a different journey in this life, some get married way too young, get their dream job, travel the world, get rich and famous and some prefer to wait till their much older to settle down and have kids. I was getting more and more frustrated with my self when I was seeing a lot of people my age getting their dream job, dream car, married, having kids and moving into their first home together and seemed to be living happy lives. Worse off when I kept getting the questions about what I am going to do with my life, I started to look at my life and wonder what I had accomplished apart from being in school and getting a degree, this made me become more frustrated that I did not have the things I was seeing other people with.

We always downplay our accomplishments and think they are not as good as Tom Dick and Harrys accomplishments someone else has to always do it better. Why can’t it be you? Listen!!! Just because you are not doing what all your age mates are doing it doesn’t mean your losing out or behind, some people will get there much quicker than others what matters is that you achieve your goals in the end. Just know that there is a time for everything under the sun and it might not be your time or season at the moment. –Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8-

 

3. You might not be ready

We want what we want right now and fast, we currently live in a fast generation no time or effort is put into things these days but the quicker you get it the quicker you loose it, especially if it’s not the right time for it or if you have not gone through the process. For example a pregnant women would like to rush the process of meeting her unborn child but the baby has to go through the process until its ready to come out, if not there are always complications. Same as life you want to be the best at what you do but you get what you put in, if you sow less time you will reap less. Self improvement is always a good thing if there are things that you don’t like and you can change them do it, whether its reading more books to expand your knowledge, practising that piano until you are as good or even better than that person you compare yourself to, whatever it is keep doing it and be patient your time will soon come.

4. Just Be You!

You are your own person there will never be another you, no one will ever talk like you, walk like you, laugh like you, dance like you and have your personality. Why would you want to be like someone else when God did not make a mistake – Psalms 139:14- ” I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” You are unique just learn to love yourself there’s real beauty in it that I cannot describe when you begin to accept yourself for who you are and all the little things that irritate you happiness follows. The need to compare yourself to everyone else becomes less and less important, Its easier said than done but its a process.

First LOVE YOURSELF Secondly FIND YOURSELF and when you do you will know who you are and no one can ever tell you any different Thirdly FIND YOUR PURPOSE – once you find your purpose on this earth you will know what to live for, to live for something that makes you wake up everyday alive and ready to go and change the world.

 

“When you Stop practising the Art of Comparison and Start practising the Art of Loving Yourself then you will become more conscious of your true worth”  – Esther Bogere –

E.B

Taking a Leap of Faith

Its crazy how much time we spend contemplating on whether we should do something we love, at times we go to the extreme of putting ourselves down and entertaining negative thoughts in our heads that stop us from going that extra mile and achieving our dreams and goals, going that extra mile and Taking A Leap of Faith and hoping for the best.

I have always lived most of my life admiring the incredible things other people do, wishing I could be in their shoes just for one day to experience what it would be like to be so confident and carefree, doing the things you love and not having to worry about what people will think, say or criticize you about.

Honestly its miserable and tiring at times, when will I be able to do what I love, when will I finally pluck up the courage to do the things that make me happy and just not worry for once?

So I decided to Take a Leap of Faith…….

I started off by creating my very own YouTube channel something I have always wanted to do but never had the courage to start one. An amazing platform where you can post anything you want from Beauty, Fitness, Music to Advice videos. Its like your own little world, your baby that you watch grow from day to day, month to month and year to year. The excitement you get when people have viewed a video that you created yourself is incredible, watching your views add up and subscribers grow makes you feel loved.

However its not all positive as there are a few negative things that come with it, people being horrible or disliking your videos is something that I struggled with at first, there are so many people out there who are all entitled to their own opinion some maybe hash or give non constructive criticism but that doesn’t mean you should give up because a couple of people disliked your video, these people in fact motivate me to be better and improve on the content I put out. The negativity helps you develop a thick skin and broader shoulder which is what you most definitely need to have when you put your self out on a social platform.

So far I would not go back and change the decision I made, it makes me a happier person, now that I have finally decided to start giving the things I love a go and not having to worry about what people would say or think. Sometimes you just have to take chances and try things out, whats the worst that could happen? If it does not work out at least you gave it a go, at the end of the day we always regret the things and chances we did not take, its never too late to follow your dreams or do the things you Love.

I am here I am taking a Leap of Faith and I have created my very own blog.

Esther Bogere. x