I turn 25 in a couple of days and this may be a daunting or celebratory feeling for some people, daunting in a way because you start to think of all the things you wanted to achieve by this age. I am sure most of us had a list or ideally hoped that by this time we would either be married, engaged, with a child, living in your own house, or have your own business, dream job etc. Either way I have learnt that things do not always go how you expect them to go and that is totally fine, the main thing is not to become discouraged as I have been feeling these past few weeks. On reflection I have learnt so much about my self these past 3 years and the good thing is I am still learning and growing, what is important is not rushing the process and that all good things will come in due season.
There is a poem by Mary Stevenson called Foot Prints in the Sand, when me and my family lived in Swaziland we had a big framed poster of this poem hanging in one of the rooms, I used to read it every time I went into that room I love this poem, take a look…
I want to put my own take on the Lords footprints, through out my life my relationship with God has been up and down depending on my circumstances or what I was going through at the time. When I was young my relationship with God was strong I never missed a day without praying or reading my bible, I was bold and confident when it came to telling people about the Love of God and who he was. As I got older the worries of this world took over me and my focus shifted drastically, I started comparing my life with others and I thought I was missing out on a lot of things, so I started running away from God, this lead to me eventually criticising every aspect of myself, I began to create my own footprints.. at the time I did not realise that I was creating my own destiny and journey by ignoring God and doing what I wanted to do.
Reflecting back I now realise that there is nothing more fulfilling than being in the Lords presence, I started to fill these voids that I had, trying to get other people to Love me, ashamed of who I was that I created this ideal me that everyone would like and I still was not satisfied and was left feeling unhappy and lost. About 3/4 years ago I had, had enough I was tired of running I needed to get closer to the source of my Life, I left a bad relationship I was in at the time and told myself it was time for change, being unhappy, depressed, feeling inadequate, feeling lost, living life with no purpose, & filling my voids with things except God was not my portion.
Making this decision is the best thing I have ever done, when you have experienced the Love of God and you become lost and found you begin to appreciate it more and you never want to go back to that dark place. He opened my eyes and I began to realise my self worth, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139:14, that before he formed me in my mothers womb he knew me, before i was born he set me apart Jeremiah 1:5 – God has gone before me and created my destiny and it is my choice if I choose to walk in the footprints that he has created before me. In the past I created my own footprints and if I had carried on I know my life would have turned out different.
My goal everyday is to make sure I am following in his footsteps, that I do not waiver from side to side creating my own path, because I want what he has planned for me and I want to fulfil his calling on my life. There is nothing more amazing than knowing that you are on the right track, yes you may stumble and fall but the goal is to be more and more like Jesus, to have his heart so that you may reject anything that does not look like him. This is a journey I want to stay on and experience the wonders of God, there is nothing like being in his presence. I want to encourage everyone to give him a chance.
When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
John 8:12 – NIV