Comparison is the thief of joy – Theodore Roosevelt –
If comparison was an art I would be the best Artist out there in fact majority of us would fall into this category, the amount of time we spend comparing our lives running around doing things to try and keep up with the Joneses is actually quite ridiculous.
We unconsciously do it to the point where it has become second nature to us. The rise of the different Social Media platforms do not help either, keeping up with them comes with the art of comparing your self to everyone out there who seems to be doing great, looking beautiful or living the ‘PERFECT ‘ life. The worst thing is they hook you in and you become so addicted, take Instagram for example you spend hours scrolling through your timeline going through page after page, picture after picture by the time you know it you have spent an hour comparing yourself admiring people’s lives and wishing you had what they have.
Snapchat is another one I had to force myself to occasionally delete off my phone, there where times I would watch peoples snaps and feel like my life was not as fun or as great as others. It seemed like everyone else’s life was more exciting and I was just stuck waking up at 4am everyday working all the time. I came to a point where I had to detach my self from these platforms, so that I did not feel like I was missing out if I went 1 day, 3 days or even a week without checking up on them. Ridding myself of the addiction was a healing process for me , as every time I would see a beautiful girl on Instagram my comparison would kick in, If I could look as perfect as those girls I thought I would love myself more. Taking time out learning to love myself so that the need of comparison would decrease really helped me so much. I came to the conclusion that in reality everyone only shows a snapshot of their life, they post only the best bits and the highlights and that no one is going to post about how broke or depressed they are just their own perception of how they want the audience to view their life.
– HOW to STOP Practising the ART of COMPARISON –
1. What you see is not always what you get
Its so easy these days to compare your life especially now that we have Instagram Snapchat Twitter and Facebook so many of the different social media platforms, where people post about their daily lives whether good, bad, sad, happy etc. the majority of the time it will always be about the good things. Its so easy to get caught up in envying other people and thinking that the people who always post amazing things are living this perfect life, what we fail to realise is that everyone posts the highlights what you see on Snapchat is only 10% of what really goes on in their life. A beautiful picture on Facebook will not show what a persons going through deep down, it is only a disguise to make people think that everything is perfect when in reality that person may be battling with self love or depression we are truly not seeing the full picture.
2. There is a time for everything
Everyone has a different journey in this life, some get married way too young, get their dream job, travel the world, get rich and famous and some prefer to wait till their much older to settle down and have kids. I was getting more and more frustrated with my self when I was seeing a lot of people my age getting their dream job, dream car, married, having kids and moving into their first home together and seemed to be living happy lives. Worse off when I kept getting the questions about what I am going to do with my life, I started to look at my life and wonder what I had accomplished apart from being in school and getting a degree, this made me become more frustrated that I did not have the things I was seeing other people with.
We always downplay our accomplishments and think they are not as good as Tom Dick and Harrys accomplishments someone else has to always do it better. Why can’t it be you? Listen!!! Just because you are not doing what all your age mates are doing it doesn’t mean your losing out or behind, some people will get there much quicker than others what matters is that you achieve your goals in the end. Just know that there is a time for everything under the sun and it might not be your time or season at the moment. –Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8-
3. You might not be ready
We want what we want right now and fast, we currently live in a fast generation no time or effort is put into things these days but the quicker you get it the quicker you loose it, especially if it’s not the right time for it or if you have not gone through the process. For example a pregnant women would like to rush the process of meeting her unborn child but the baby has to go through the process until its ready to come out, if not there are always complications. Same as life you want to be the best at what you do but you get what you put in, if you sow less time you will reap less. Self improvement is always a good thing if there are things that you don’t like and you can change them do it, whether its reading more books to expand your knowledge, practising that piano until you are as good or even better than that person you compare yourself to, whatever it is keep doing it and be patient your time will soon come.
4. Just Be You!
You are your own person there will never be another you, no one will ever talk like you, walk like you, laugh like you, dance like you and have your personality. Why would you want to be like someone else when God did not make a mistake – Psalms 139:14- ” I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” You are unique just learn to love yourself there’s real beauty in it that I cannot describe when you begin to accept yourself for who you are and all the little things that irritate you happiness follows. The need to compare yourself to everyone else becomes less and less important, Its easier said than done but its a process.
First LOVE YOURSELF Secondly FIND YOURSELF and when you do you will know who you are and no one can ever tell you any different Thirdly FIND YOUR PURPOSE – once you find your purpose on this earth you will know what to live for, to live for something that makes you wake up everyday alive and ready to go and change the world.
“When you Stop practising the Art of Comparison and Start practising the Art of Loving Yourself then you will become more conscious of your true worth” – Esther Bogere –